Embracing the dark has giving me my biggest gifts. The biggest, but I don't really know what they are or were, but I know my conversations with the dark are far different from when I first opened the door.
I've dealt with the loss of several pets over the years, but a few years ago I lost the one I hitched my whole wagon too. "A good dog for a bad marriage" and he helped me get to the other side of so many things including the marriage. My heart is with you at least in this moment.
It's great to hear your words of sitting in it long enough to start to heal.
Oh man....beautifully said. "but I know my conversations with the dark are far different from when I first opened the door." This is so poetic and true.
I'm sorry for your loss, but know you know as well as I that the experience of knowing and loving an animal is worth the loss, as devastating as it is.
Thank you for your empathy, and for sharing with me, and for your beautiful comment. 🤍
The color orange makes me happy, so I like the orange one of course. And then my other favorite is the first one—the featured-image one. Cool color combo PLUS that thing in the middle—the way it disappears into infinity is nice!
Also, I have a hypothesis that maybe people who are always cold (as I am) like warm colors and and vice versa. Of course, my sample size is just me and my son for this "study," so it could be total crap!
This is beautiful and thank you for writing it, for all of us who've been through that moment. I've had that feeling of "there's no cat in the house" and it's awful. (There was a dog, but she was grieving too, which was worse somehow than my own grief, because I couldln't explain to her why her best friend was gone.)
Thank you, Faith, for reading and empathizing. I can understand what you mean about your dog's grieving- impossible to soothe in any way other than administering huge doses of cuddles and love. And the oh so bittersweet elixir of time passing....
I can see you and I are kindred spirits with your guitar and kitty friend. 🤍
I know that to be true now. For a creature who spends most of their time sleeping, a cat sure does take up a lot of space in a home with just its mere presence.
When my first cat died after living with me for 18 years, I was newly co-habitating with a brand new boyfriend at the time. Of course I was enormously sad at her passing, but the company of another human blanketed me from the depth of loss I have felt this time around.
The gift of the matter has been in accessing and healing deeper core wounds I would never have been able to otherwise.
You probably know there are two approaches to this situation. One is to leave the empty space for a while. The other is to fill it. Which are you inclined to do if I may ask?
What a beautiful heartfelt piece in memory of Bodhi (and what a gorgeous name for your feline companion). Thank you so much for sharing this grief journey, Jacqueline!
And your mandalas speak to me too, the heart-hand-connection. So true! 💗🙏 🕯️
Seeing the world through your eyes (and writing) always serves as a reminder for me to continue to behold and revere the magic and depth of meaning in the unfolding mystery of which we are all a part. ❤️🙏✨
I have been there several times and it never got any easier. I can so relate to what you’ve written. In my case writing poetry helped me through that grief.
Beautiful: the words and the art and, most certainly, the heart and soul of the woman who brought them forth. It blesses me to read about your journey of healing, and the wisdom it brings forth. One of the amazing things to me is how in healing ourselves, we can help facilitate healing in others.
Love you, dear sister. Spring is indeed coming. ♥♥♥
Karena....when reading your comment I can't help but cover my heart with my hands....sighhh...I feel you feeling me!!
It's so nice to be in the brilliant presence of you again, my sister! I hope all is well with you in your world. 🤍
Thank you eternally for honouring my process and for reaching out with your empathy. It's amazing to feel how connected we all really are. LOVE to you....xo
It is truly my pleasure, dear Jac. All is well. I have been preoccupied with working on my long list of house projects now that I have TIME. Changing jobs has changed my life. ♥
What a beautiful place to lay Bohdi to rest—under a tree meaningful during your childhood, where he can take delight in watching all the birds and squirrels and other creatures. Darkness absorbs all color, and from darkness comes light. Beautiful Jacqueline. ✨💜✨
Years ago my sister-in-law gifted me a small portion of my brothers ashes in a miniature urn. I planted a new tree using his ashes as part of the soil. It’s now such a beautiful tree, and a reminder of the brightness of life. ✨💜🤗
That really is the best thing to do to honour loved one's life, in my humble opinion! Trees are amazing. Powerful reminders of natural cycles and seasons.
My last two sub stacks I wrote about the amazing experience spreading my mothers ashes and my father‘s ashes. We sprinkled my mothers ashes in the ocean, were when they hit the water there were bioluminescence and floated away like fairy dust. My Dad’s were spread among the redwood trees in the Sierra Nevadas. My dad is watching her mother and my mother watches from below. I live in the valley in the middle. ✨🙏💜
Wow. I love that so much, Charlotte. The ocean is just as magical as the trees!! And I love that you're in the middle. What a beautiful story your life is. Says a lot about you.✨
I haven't experienced much death with anyone close- just cats. It's only a matter of time. In the meantime, I do what I can to appreciate them, and I make sure those I love know that I love them. 🤍
Animals teach us about the cycle of life. You take them from birth to death in a short amount of people time. It’s heartbreaking when they are gone and we miss them so much. I see them as butterflies in the next realm guidestones to our next realm. ✨🦋💜
I thought about the lyrics to the springsteen song light of day
Well, I'm a little down under but I'm feeling okay
Got a little lost along the way
I'm just around the corner to the light of day
Well, I'm just around the corner to the light of day
That song popped in my head when I read you're beautiful words .
Thank you jacqueline.
That's beautiful, Dave. What a great song-writer he is. Thank you for sharing that! 🤍
Embracing the dark has giving me my biggest gifts. The biggest, but I don't really know what they are or were, but I know my conversations with the dark are far different from when I first opened the door.
I've dealt with the loss of several pets over the years, but a few years ago I lost the one I hitched my whole wagon too. "A good dog for a bad marriage" and he helped me get to the other side of so many things including the marriage. My heart is with you at least in this moment.
It's great to hear your words of sitting in it long enough to start to heal.
Great art pieces!!
Oh man....beautifully said. "but I know my conversations with the dark are far different from when I first opened the door." This is so poetic and true.
I'm sorry for your loss, but know you know as well as I that the experience of knowing and loving an animal is worth the loss, as devastating as it is.
Thank you for your empathy, and for sharing with me, and for your beautiful comment. 🤍
Such profoundly beautiful words and images, Jacqueline! I'm reminded of SPRING & ALL by William Carlos Williams ...
By the road to the contagious hospital
under the surge of the blue
mottled clouds driven from the
northeast—a cold wind. Beyond, the
waste of broad, muddy fields
brown with dried weeds, standing and fallen
patches of standing water
the scattering of tall trees
All along the road the reddish
purplish, forked, upstanding, twiggy
stuff of bushes and small trees
with dead, brown leaves under them
leafless vines—
Lifeless in appearance, sluggish
dazed spring approaches—
They enter the new world naked,
cold, uncertain of all
save that they enter. All about them
the cold, familiar wind—
Now the grass, tomorrow
the stiff curl of wildcarrot leaf
One by one objects are defined—
It quickens: clarity, outline of leaf
But now the stark dignity of
Entrance—Still, the profound change
has come upon them: rooted, they
grip down and begin to awaken
Sol....goosebumps!! Thank you so much for sharing this poem with me. I love that you were inspired to think of it. 🤍
xoxoxo
Which color circle is your favorite?
I find myself favouring the blue, blue-green ones. Do you have a favourite?
The color orange makes me happy, so I like the orange one of course. And then my other favorite is the first one—the featured-image one. Cool color combo PLUS that thing in the middle—the way it disappears into infinity is nice!
Orange is most certainly the happiest colour. 🧡
"the way it disappears into infinity is nice!"
One of those Bob Rossian "happy accidents". LOL!!
Also, I have a hypothesis that maybe people who are always cold (as I am) like warm colors and and vice versa. Of course, my sample size is just me and my son for this "study," so it could be total crap!
hahahaa!! You're quite the scientist!! You must work for the FDA. 🤪
😁🤣🤣🤣😁
This is beautiful and thank you for writing it, for all of us who've been through that moment. I've had that feeling of "there's no cat in the house" and it's awful. (There was a dog, but she was grieving too, which was worse somehow than my own grief, because I couldln't explain to her why her best friend was gone.)
And I'm sorry it happened on November 5, too.
Thank you, Faith, for reading and empathizing. I can understand what you mean about your dog's grieving- impossible to soothe in any way other than administering huge doses of cuddles and love. And the oh so bittersweet elixir of time passing....
I can see you and I are kindred spirits with your guitar and kitty friend. 🤍
That's Special Agent Fish, otherwise known as Mr. Bitey.
I forget who it was who said That cats are the heartbeat of a home. Some French dude. 😎
Il a raison!!
I know that to be true now. For a creature who spends most of their time sleeping, a cat sure does take up a lot of space in a home with just its mere presence.
When my first cat died after living with me for 18 years, I was newly co-habitating with a brand new boyfriend at the time. Of course I was enormously sad at her passing, but the company of another human blanketed me from the depth of loss I have felt this time around.
The gift of the matter has been in accessing and healing deeper core wounds I would never have been able to otherwise.
Hello, Mr. Bitey! 😍
You probably know there are two approaches to this situation. One is to leave the empty space for a while. The other is to fill it. Which are you inclined to do if I may ask?
I think there's a third option which is the one I presented in my writing here.
Notice it. Embrace it. Sit with it. Be alive in the empty space.
At a certain point you realize there's nowhere to go, nothing to fill.
The empty space is merely a blank canvas possessing all infinite possibilities...
So much of our lives we are taught to escape from or numb our discomfort and pain.
To really feel it is the way to transcend it.
are you going to adopt another kitty or wait awhile?
Wow. No words. Beautiful and sad. Heart wrenching and heart opening. Living the questions. I’ll sing to that. Big hugs. 🙏❤️
Thank you, my friend. 🙏
"No one said it would be easy....." 🎶
Sending a big hug your way, Jamie. 🤍
>^..^<
What an adorable keyboard kitty, Mel! ❤️
What a beautiful heartfelt piece in memory of Bodhi (and what a gorgeous name for your feline companion). Thank you so much for sharing this grief journey, Jacqueline!
And your mandalas speak to me too, the heart-hand-connection. So true! 💗🙏 🕯️
Thank you so much for being here, Veronika!
Seeing the world through your eyes (and writing) always serves as a reminder for me to continue to behold and revere the magic and depth of meaning in the unfolding mystery of which we are all a part. ❤️🙏✨
what a lovely thing to say! I feel deeply honoured 🙏 💕
So many patterns!!
Love the one that says Love Life.
Proud to witness you in these moments. You are a warrior! Love you.
I love you, my beautiful friend. Thank you for the countless wonderful tilty hugs that helped me to stand upright. ❤️
You are most welcome! Tilty hugs are extra healing hugs!
I have been there several times and it never got any easier. I can so relate to what you’ve written. In my case writing poetry helped me through that grief.
Take care 💙🙏
Awww...thank you, beautiful Joyce, for reading and for sharing. 🤍
Ohh yes....poetry is a perfect elixir for healing and companion along the way.
Beautiful: the words and the art and, most certainly, the heart and soul of the woman who brought them forth. It blesses me to read about your journey of healing, and the wisdom it brings forth. One of the amazing things to me is how in healing ourselves, we can help facilitate healing in others.
Love you, dear sister. Spring is indeed coming. ♥♥♥
Karena....when reading your comment I can't help but cover my heart with my hands....sighhh...I feel you feeling me!!
It's so nice to be in the brilliant presence of you again, my sister! I hope all is well with you in your world. 🤍
Thank you eternally for honouring my process and for reaching out with your empathy. It's amazing to feel how connected we all really are. LOVE to you....xo
It is truly my pleasure, dear Jac. All is well. I have been preoccupied with working on my long list of house projects now that I have TIME. Changing jobs has changed my life. ♥
I'm so happy to hear this. Domestic Goddess Bliss looks good on you. 😘
Thank you, darlin'! 😘
Love this. Love you. xoxoxoxoxo
LOVE YOU back!! 😘
I’m not one to drop arbitrary F bombs in comment sections, but “fuck, these are BEAUTIFUL” is exactly what came out when I saw these sacred creations.
LOL!!! FUCK ya!!
Thank you, my brother. For the laugh and the awesome compliment. ;)
🙌😀
What a beautiful place to lay Bohdi to rest—under a tree meaningful during your childhood, where he can take delight in watching all the birds and squirrels and other creatures. Darkness absorbs all color, and from darkness comes light. Beautiful Jacqueline. ✨💜✨
All the things he would love to chase! hahaha!!
Beautifully said, Charlotte. from darkness comes light.....so true and profound.
Thanks for popping by! 💖
Years ago my sister-in-law gifted me a small portion of my brothers ashes in a miniature urn. I planted a new tree using his ashes as part of the soil. It’s now such a beautiful tree, and a reminder of the brightness of life. ✨💜🤗
That really is the best thing to do to honour loved one's life, in my humble opinion! Trees are amazing. Powerful reminders of natural cycles and seasons.
My last two sub stacks I wrote about the amazing experience spreading my mothers ashes and my father‘s ashes. We sprinkled my mothers ashes in the ocean, were when they hit the water there were bioluminescence and floated away like fairy dust. My Dad’s were spread among the redwood trees in the Sierra Nevadas. My dad is watching her mother and my mother watches from below. I live in the valley in the middle. ✨🙏💜
Wow. I love that so much, Charlotte. The ocean is just as magical as the trees!! And I love that you're in the middle. What a beautiful story your life is. Says a lot about you.✨
I haven't experienced much death with anyone close- just cats. It's only a matter of time. In the meantime, I do what I can to appreciate them, and I make sure those I love know that I love them. 🤍
Animals teach us about the cycle of life. You take them from birth to death in a short amount of people time. It’s heartbreaking when they are gone and we miss them so much. I see them as butterflies in the next realm guidestones to our next realm. ✨🦋💜
So, so, so much love to you. Your art glow-lights my whole heart!!
Awwww!! You just glow-lit-up mine!!
Much love to you, my sister. 💖